Sharing My Scars Because I'm Tired of Perfection
God told me to tell my story. And honestly, I didn’t know what that meant at first.
When I rebranded a few months ago to talk about faith, finance, and womanhood, I thought I had it all figured out. I planned to dive into strategies and numbers, but God had different plans. He told me: “That’s not what we need right now.” Instead, He asked me to focus on faith and womanhood.
At first, I didn’t see the connection. What does faith have to do with managing money? But the more I obeyed, the more the pieces started to fall into place. I realized that finance is the easy part—black and white. The numbers add up. But faith and womanhood? That’s where the real work begins.
The Season of Vulnerability
If I’m being honest, this is not an easy season for me. When people ask how I’m doing, I don’t even have the energy to lie anymore. I’m feeling everything—raw and real—because God is teaching me to stop intellectualizing my emotions.
For so long, I coped by shutting down, becoming emotionally numb, and performing for the sake of appearances. But this season is different. God is wringing me out, like a washcloth being twisted until it’s dry.
Even when I’ve opened up to people, trusting them with my feelings, I’ve been met with betrayal. Vulnerability became ammunition for others. And yet, God is asking me to lean into it anyway.
Rest and Renewal
Recently, my pastor preached a sermon on Acts 28:7-10 about the importance of rest. He reminded us that even Paul took three days to do absolutely nothing—to rest, to be replenished, to be poured into.
That message hit me hard. I’ve spent so much of my life pushing past exhaustion, trying to keep going when what I really needed was to sit still. Rest is a divine gift, and yet so many of us neglect it.
God is teaching me that balance isn’t about doing everything perfectly. It’s about prioritizing Him and creating space for renewal—even when it’s messy, painful, and uncomfortable.
Sharing Scars, Not Perfection
For a long time, I believed that sharing my story meant waiting until it was polished and complete. But God is calling me to share it as it unfolds, scars and all.
Why? Because so many of us feel alone, trapped on an island of one, believing we’re the only ones struggling. But when we share our stories, we create a space for healing—not just for ourselves but for others too.
So, I’m stepping out in faith, refusing to hide my scars or wear the labels others have placed on me. I’m tired of pretending to be someone I’m not, of letting imperfect people silence me.
Faith Before Finance
Here’s the truth: many of us focus on finances because it feels tangible, like something we can control. But the real reason we’re struggling isn’t the lack of strategies or numbers—it’s that we’ve built on shaky foundations.
God is tearing up those foundations, asking us to rebuild with Him at the center. It’s not an easy process, but it’s necessary for true balance and transformation.
Moving Forward
As I continue this journey, I hope my story serves as a reminder: you’re not alone. Vulnerability isn’t weakness; it’s an act of rebellion against the perfectionism that holds us back.
I’m inviting you to join me in this messy, beautiful process of healing, faith, and balance. Let’s stop hiding our scars and start creating lives that truly honor who God has called us to be.
What does rest and renewal look like for you in this season?
Until next time,
AttiQuewa
